


Birdwatching

by thewriterofperfectdisasters



Series: Tiny Tumblr AUs [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Based on a Tumblr Post, Future Fic, M/M, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 13:33:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterofperfectdisasters/pseuds/thewriterofperfectdisasters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey cleared his throat and gingerly took the cuffs and box back from his nephew.<br/>‘What is it?’<br/>‘Oh. Uh…’ <i>Where the fuck was Ian?</i> ‘They’re… friendship bracelets.’</p><hr/><p>aka a fic based off this tfln thing: (541): I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birdwatching

**Author's Note:**

> another lil thing based off [a tumblr post](http://im-not-his-keeper.tumblr.com/post/100959181398/some-priceless-tfln-prompts/). (yes, yes i do, infact, have a word document with a selection of posts of aus.)
> 
> • (541): I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.

Mickey knew the day would somehow come that he would regret allowing his sister to bring her kid to his and Ian’s apartment. He knew, and for some reason, he didn’t think to put any measures in place in order to prevent it, like, oh – putting Mandy in a convent?

On this particularly unfortunate occasion, Mandy had dumped her son with Mickey and Ian so that she and Lip could go away for the weekend. Something about _“encouraging Mickey to become a mother hen and start breeding”_ , because apparently she wanted nieces and nephews up to her eyeballs as soon as possible.

Ian, however, was having a fucking _fantastic_ time with little Aiden. The kid was six, or something, and he was kinda cute, but mostly getting to that stage where he was annoying as fuck. Ian didn’t seem to mind, and it was _his_ fault that the three of them were now playing hide and seek around the apartment.

Fucking. Hide. And. Seek.

The only thing even remotely good about it was that Ian and Mickey were now onto day three of a dry spell, thanks to the hell spawn, so they ended up cramming themselves into a closet for about five minutes and giving each other the quickest handjobs to ever grace the face of the earth. Their hands were almost a blur as they gave a new meaning to fast and furious, and came as they moaned into each other’s mouths.

Thank God Ian had enough wits about him to whip out a couple of tissues he had stashed in his pocket and clean them up in record time, because Aiden yanked the door open approximately three seconds after their dicks had been safely put back in their pants.

‘Found you!’ Aiden screeched, as he ran off giggling.

‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ Mickey muttered, slamming his head into Ian’s shoulder. ‘A’ight, rock paper scissors?’

‘Yeah, okay,’ Ian said. ‘Loser hides, winner disposes of the naughty tissues?’

Mickey grinned. ‘“Naughty tissues”?’

‘Would you prefer to call them jizz tissues?’

‘Yes.’

Ian rolled his eyes. ‘Hurry up and make a fist.’

‘Fine,’ Mickey said, making his right hand into a fist and slamming it three times into his open left palm. ‘Scissors.’

‘Paper,’ Ian replied, digging the used tissues out of his pocket again and dropping them in Mickey’s hand. ‘Come find me,’ he winked.

‘Fuck off,’ Mickey said, following him out to the living room and going to stand by the front door to count to twenty. ‘One, two, three…’

Aidan gave a high pitched squeal and darted off somewhere, while Ian dithered about, trying to find somewhere he could hide. Ah, the perils of being six foot tall.

Mickey smirked to himself as he continued counting and heard Ian run off somewhere, as he muttered, _“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”_

‘Eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Here I come, you little shits!’ Mickey roared, first sneaking into the bathroom to surreptitiously flush the tissues down the toilet. Because, y’know, hell spawn might go through the garbage for some stupid reason.

It didn’t occur to Mickey to actually _check_ anywhere in the bathroom, but if he had, he would’ve found Ian lying in the bottom of the bath, with his clothes collecting the residual water from their showers last night, and maybe, _just_ maybe, he could’ve avoided the awkward situation that came next.

As it was, Ian could hardly believe his luck, and actually let out a surprised laugh as he heard Mickey’s footsteps fade off down the hall. It sounded like Mickey had gone into the bedroom, and he knew that Aidan had zipped in there, so there was a chance Ian might win this round.

Mickey stepped over the threshold into his and Ian’s bedroom, and immediately heard a quiet giggle from somewhere. ‘A’ight, little dude, I know you’re in here.’

There was another giggle, and Mickey narrowed his eyes. He got onto his knees and peered under his bed to see his nephew grinning like the Cheshire cat.

‘Found you,’ Mickey said triumphantly. It was weird that he felt so accomplished at beating a six year old at this fucking game. Jesus.

‘Uncle Mickey,’ Aidan said, worming out from under the bed. ‘I found a box under your bed.’

 _Oh FUCK. Please don’t be the box I think it is._ ‘Oh really?’

‘Yup,’ Aidan put his hand under the bed and pulled out a macaroni box after himself. ‘What’re these?’ he asked, holding up a pair of handcuffs.

Mickey bit his lip as he watched the shiny, silver cuffs dangle from the kid’s hand. Instead, he opted for a different route. ‘Why’d you go in that box?’

‘Mama makes me this for dinner sometimes!’ Aidan said, pointing at the macaroni wheels on the box. Fucking Ian and his fucking weird pasta shapes.

‘Uh huh…’

‘And I was hungry, so I looked for a snack in it,’ Aidan explained. ‘There was no snack, Uncle Mickey.’

‘Yeah, um. I know,’ Mickey cleared his throat and gingerly took the cuffs and box back from his nephew.

‘What is it?’

‘Oh. Uh…’ _Where the fuck was Ian?_ ‘They’re… friendship bracelets.’

‘Friendship bracelets?’ Aidan asked, suddenly looking very interested. ‘Can I get some for my friends?’

‘ _Nooo_. Maybe when you’re older, okay?’

‘Okay. Why do you and Uncle Ian have friendship bracelets? Don’t you love each other?’

‘Yeah, we do. Of course, we do. Sometimes we wear these to…’ Suddenly Mickey had a complete mind blank, and he spat out the first thing that came to mind. ‘We use them when we go… birdwatching?’

‘Birdwatching?’

‘Yeah. It’s… very educational.’

‘Can I go birdwatching with you some time?’

‘Ah, no,’ Mickey said quickly, shoving the cuffs back in the box and getting up to shove it somewhere at the top of their wardrobe. ‘Um. How about we go find Uncle Ian, yeah?’

‘Okay!’ Aidan chirped. He got up, and marched straight out the door and to the bathroom. ‘Uncle _Ian_!’

‘Is he in here?’ Mickey asked, peering into the bathroom.

‘Yup! I saw him go past.’

‘Huh,’ Mickey went straight to the bath and ripped back the curtain.

Ian was still lying in the bath, but had apparently made himself comfy. His legs were crossed, he had a towel under his head as a pillow, and he was on his phone. Ian looked up as Mickey’s face loomed over him. ‘Hiya, Mick.’

Mickey scratched his nose and cleared his throat. ‘Sup, fucker?’

Ian raised an eyebrow at Mickey’s language and slowly stood up, grinning sheepishly. ‘Boo?’

Mickey sucked air in through his teeth and glared at the redhead. ‘I really fucking hate you.’

‘Uh… Sure. Next round?’

‘I’m it!’ Aidan yelled, running back to the front door.

‘You okay?’ Ian asked, stepping out of the tub.

‘Um… No.’

‘Tell me later?’

‘That was the plan.’

 

* * *

 

‘So what were you going to tell me?’ Ian asked later that night, as he and Mickey settled into bed.

‘Huh?’ Mickey asked, pulling one of Ian’s old t-shirts over his head.

‘You said you had something you wanted to tell me?’

‘Oh,’ Mickey groaned as he sank onto the mattress and rolled towards Ian, burying his face in Ian’s tank. ‘Oh my God.’

‘What happened?’ Ian asked, mildly alarmed at his boyfriend’s behaviour.

‘Aidan found our handcuffs under the bed,’ Mickey mumbled. ‘Please kill me.’

Ian grinned. ‘Oh. What did you tell him?’

‘That they were friendship bracelets.’

‘Friendship bracelets?’

‘Yeah, that we used for birdwatching,’ Mickey nodded.

‘I’m sorry, _birdwatching_?’ Ian asked incredulously.

‘Yeah… y’know. Cock? Birdwatching?’

Ian tried to hide his laughter, but Mickey, having his head shoved in Ian’s chest, felt the full effects of the rumbling coursing through him. ‘Oh my God, Mickey.’

‘I know.’

‘Cock?’ Ian repeated, his voice cracking somewhere in the middle. ‘Oh, Jesus, take me now.’

‘Ian, it’s not funny.’

‘You’re right. It’s fucking _hilarious_ ,’ Ian said, bursting into a new round of laughter and rolling onto his back. ‘I have to tell Mandy!’

‘Don’t tell Mandy, Christ, Ian!’ Mickey moaned, following the direction Ian had gone in, and proceeding to push his face into Ian’s pillow.

‘Mickey, you’re a fucking gift to this world.’

‘Yeah, yeah. I can’t believe you made me talk to him about that by myself.’

‘I’m glad you did,’ Ian said, as evenly as he was able, before succumbing to laughter again. ‘But _cock_?’

‘Fuck off. You come up with something better.’

‘Nope. Nuh uh. That’s the best thing I have ever heard.’

‘I hate you.’

‘What, gonna withhold _birdwatching_ from me as punishment?’

‘I fuckin’ might.’

‘Aw, Mick,’ Ian said, calming down a little bit and bringing his boyfriend to his chest to hug him. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Yeah fuckin’ right.’

‘Really. Truly, _very_ sorry you had to do that by yourself. Not funny at all,’ Ian said, trying to sound as sincere as he could. The fact that the bed continued shaking from Ian’s suppressed laughter for a good almost twenty minutes after said _exactly_ how _“not funny”_ he thought it was.

**Author's Note:**

> [im so sorry](http://im-not-his-keeper.tumblr.com/)


End file.
